PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

Whatever, being patient is overrated. I have my 12 week u/s scheduled tomorrow and I wish it was tomorrow like 2 weeks ago!! I'm torn b/t being very excited to see that the baby is doing well and being really nervous and scared if something doesn't turn out ok. Argh! 2pm Thursday cannot arrive soon enough!

On a lighter note, I just received a call from AT who was at the DC fish market getting a bushel of crab and some flounder. Can't wait for dinner either. (See, patience is definitely not a virtue of mine.)

HONEYMOON PHASE

Okay, I LOVE being pregnant now. Why now? Because I feel SO MUCH BETTER!!! Other perks include:

(1) Eating as much as you want and not gaining weight (for now).
(2) People going out of their way to make sure you are eating as much as you want.
(3) Cravings dictate what I eat, so no more indecisiveness before each meal.
(4) Extra attention from the hubby.
(5) Parking at the spaces reserved for mothers to be.
(6) Having my belly stick out and not having to suck it in.
(7) Rosy cheeks and shiny hair.
(8) Daily phone calls from the hubby as to what I want to eat every night.
(9) Being able to use the line "I'm making a penis inside of me, what are you doing?" when I get upset at the hubby.
(10) Lounging on the couch all weekend long, while hubby cleans, cooks, refuels my car, and does laundry. (ok, I admit this was already in effect before I got pregnant)

EATING HABITS

My meals for yesterday, Sunday 3/28 were the following:

6:30am: A cup of Corn pops cereal with fat free organic milk
9:30am: A bowl of bun bo xao - rice noodles with grilled lemongrass beef served with cucumbers and carrots
1:15pm: A BK Whopper along with fries and Coke Zero
5-6pm: Slices of kiwi, a handful of Craisins, several bites of linguine during cooking
6:00pm: A plate of shrimp scampi linguine and a big glass of passion fruit lemonade (prepared by AT)
8:45pm: A small bowl of rice and grilled porkchops
and finally 95+ ounces of water throughout the day

Exercise: Walked the dogs for a measly 45mins.

My meals and exercise before I was pregnant:

9-11am: 2.5 cups of coffee with 2 tbls of flavored creamer
2pm: Portion control lean protein/veggies and rice
4pm: A snack such as a banana and Laughing Cow cheese
7pm: Portion control lean protein/veggies and rice
8:30pm: Another snack such as fresh fruit or a frozen fruit bar

Exercise: 50-70 mins cardio (spinning, elliptical, stairs) and some weights

MY HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED!!

IS IT POSSIBLE?

That I am feeling better?! This week marks week 11 and all of a sudden, my symptoms have improved (somewhat). I am no longer super sleepy or tired in the afternoons. Of course, this is all relative. If you haven't felt well for the past month and a half, any sort of relief is a huge improvement. Hopefully, things will continue to improve so I can get my butt back to the gym to counteract my huge appetite. Haven't gain anything so far (shocker!), but I know it's coming. I'm looking forward to what others refer to as the "honeymoon" phase of pregnancy.

STAY AWAY FROM THE WATER!

So we found out a few days ago that a close friend is also expecting! We're so excited for her and her husband. Ever since I learned that I was pregnant, I've been urging her to get pregnant too. The more the merrier I guess. I didn't expect for my powers of persuasion to work that well, but it did. She is due on/around November 25. Congrats to her and her H!

It's definitely that time in your life that everyone around you is either getting married or having babies. I have another friend who is expecting this August and 4 coworkers/wives who are pregnant. I commented to my cousin the other day that that's what our late 20s and 30s are all about - getting married and having babies. Which are much more fun and exciting than when we hit our 60s-70s, at which time it'll be all about illnesses and funerals. What a depressing thought.

AND THE BEAT GOES ON...

I knew coming into my second Dr's appt. on March 5 that I would not be receiving a ultrasound that day. Knowing and accepting are two distinct things. Needless to say, I did not accept this, I had to get some kind of ultrasound done. I was in desperate need of some form of physical and tangible proof that there was a baby somewhere inside of me. So I told Dr. S I was experiencing a dull ache/pain on the right side of my pelvis. Mind you, this was not a lie, I really did feel some aching on that side but I kinda suspected it was because of the corpus luteal cyst (Google if needed). Dr. S, now familiar with my anxiety and control issues, quickly writes up a referral for an u/s and writes up an additional referral for my standard 12-13 week u/s. Score!

I was so happy to be in possession of those referral slips and scheduled my first u/s appt. at 8w6d for March 9, that following Tuesday. Throughout that weekend, I started worrying about not hearing a heartbeat, or worse seeing an empty sac with no embryo. Tuesday finally arrives, AT picks me up from work and we head to our first u/s appt.

As we're sitting in the exam room, AT is surprised that I have to go commando. I guess he thought that they were doing to do the abdominal u/s but I knew that this early on in the pregnancy, they were sticking with the transvaginal u/s (no pun intended). I describe to him what was going to take place and he starts to chuckle like a middle school boy - not sure if he was cracking up b/c of the notion of a penile shaped device or because he was nervous. He quickly stopped laughing though when the u/s tech. came in.

The next few minutes were all a blur. We saw the baby, or should I say some form of jumping gummy bear. We heard the heartbeat. Everything looked normal. I was measuring right on my dates and the lil' tangerine's heartbeat was a strong 171 bpm. We were ecstatic and got to bring home 3 sonogram prints. We would spend the next weeks diciphering the images on the sonograms and figuring out which part was the head versus the bottom. We never figured it out.
Baby facing left w/ arms sticking out.

MY BIG FEAR

It's funny how much you can fall in love with something in such a short amount of time. After the initial shock receded, I fell deeply in love with this human being that was growing inside me. WE fell hard big time.

If you missed my earlier post, we weren't planning on starting a family. AT thought we were going to start trying in May/June but I was going to renegotiate the terms in May and plead my case for an extension until later that year. Sure, emotionally, financially, relationship-wise we were ready for that next big step. But I knew that a baby changes your life, of course for the better, but it was a change that I wanted to hold off on for a bit longer.

Now that we're expecting, I can't imagine wanting my life to be any other way. It's so cliche, but so true. And now was the start of my biggest fear. Losing the baby. I was freaked out by what I was reading online. Every other woman it seems, had suffered from a miscarriage. And the hardest part was accepting that for the most part, it was something I had no control over. Zilch. Nada.

I began to worry that for this part of my life, since everything has worked out so well for me that something has to give. That I can't possibly continue to be so freaking happy and experience and receive everything I want. The other shoe has to drop at some point, doesn't it?

As I am writing this I am 10weeks 3days, and yes, I am still worried but the level of anxiety has tapered off somewhat with each passing week. I will be more confident about this pregnancy when the 2nd trimester rolls around (12-13 weeks) but I know I will just find more things to worry about at that time.

MY POOR HUSBAND

Before I became pregnant, AT did more than his fair share of housework. I mean the guy loves to clean (although he denies this fact). I would do the main grocery shopping with him tagging along to push the cart, cook every other night, do laundry on the weekend etc. But once I started to suffer from all the pregancy symptons, he did EVERYTHING around the house. He went grocery shopping and managed to get all the right produce, meats, seasonings. He cooked and cleaned the house. He drove around to pick up whatever meal I was craving that day. And he managed to do all of this even though he was still working early hours and going to classes at night.

I, on the other hand, got home from work around 2-5pm depending on how sick I was feeling and I spent the entire evening perched on my couch whining about how sick and tired I was. (I even did this on the days that I felt slighty decent, but trust me those days were few and far between)

AT's actions during this time didn't surprise me. I already knew he would step up to the plate. And I know that when the baby comes, he will be a very hands on dad and will take very good care of both of us. I am a very lucky woman in this regard.

AT preparing the meal.

Garlic/ginger rice with soy sauce and boiled chicken.

AND SO THE "FUN" BEGINS - PART II

Okay so back to how my body and brain no longer belonged to me. I remember on Feb. 14 commenting to AT that this pregnancy was going so well, I didn't have morning sickness, I was eating well, that this whole thing would be a piece of cake. I WAS SO WRONG.

The next day, it all hit me. I was praying to the porcelain god bright and early that morning. Luckily, during my 1st trimester I only puked a total of 3x. But boy, was I nauseaus, dizzy, sleepy, tired, moody, hungry for the next several weeks.

At first there was a pattern to this madness. I would only be sick and tired when 2pm rolled around so I adjusted my work schedule so that I could leave before 3pm. No big deal. However, this pattern went away after a week or so. All bets were off at that point. I would be hit with nausea at 6am, dizziness around 11pm, sleepiness around noon, back to nausea at 5pm, dizziness at 6pm and so forth. It was definitely a roller coaster ride.

As far as food was concern, I was not concerned about food. The only thing I wanted were TANGERINES!! I think I ate about 40 tangerines in less than two weeks. My mom and aunts were constantly sending tangerines my way. This incessant craving for tangerines went away though when March came which is a good thing or else our baby might have turned out a bright shade of orange!

AND SO THE "FUN" BEGINS - PART I

February 15. The day that my body and brain ceased to belong to me. More on that later. But first, this was also the day that I told my mom that at the ripe 'ole age of 46, she was going to be a grandmother. For some reason, I was really nervous to tell her. It was kinda like admitting I was doing the deed - even though of course we were doing the deed.

She didn't believe me at first and even said I was lying. Haha. Probably b/c I have on several occasions since I got married in 2007, started sentences like "Mom, I have a big annoucement to make" whilst rubbing my belly or "Mom, tell Chu T. (her significant other) that he's going to be a grandpa!" [it was b/c one of his koi fish was preggers]. So needless to say, she blurted out "sao" which translated into English as "you're just joking/faking". She believed me though when I bursted out in tears. I am very easy to cry. Mom then says "This is a very happy event" and then she spends the rest of the evening debating the merits of having a Tiger son or daughter. Based on the Chinese/Viet horoscopes/birth charts, Tiger females are bada$$es and if you are born in a breached position, you are an even bigger bada$$. We have a few Tiger females in our family btw. For me, I tend to pick and choose what I want to believe in regards to the Chinese horoscope. I mean, AT is a dragon and I am a monkey and dragons and monkeys are very compatible, so this I believe. On the other hand, they say that monkeys are highly intelligent but then I know plenty of people my age that are not so bright, so this I don't believe (clarification: only some monkeys, including myself, are highly intelligent).

FIRST DOCTOR'S APPT.

I found my ob/gyn via the Internet and at those "rate a doc" sites. She's been great so far. My first appt. was scheduled for Thursday, February 11. But of course, we got another round of snow Tuesday-Wednesday so I was rescheduled for the following Friday, Feb. 19. If you know me, patience is definitely not my strong point. It was an agonizing wait. Little did I know that this whole process would involve a lot of patience and waiting.

The day came for my first appt. Hooray! I thought, now I can definitely confirm my pregnancy. Yes, even after 10 positive tests, I still had my doubts. I arrive at a nice looking office filled with women bearing round bellies. This is so surreal. The nurse takes me in, performs all the preliminary/usual checks. I proceed to ask her if there would be a blood test to confirm my state. She says no, not this first time. Aww man. I have to wait until the next time?

She leads me into the exam room and moments later my ob/gyn - Dr. S, walks in. Lovely woman, probably only a few years older than I was. She gives me the 411 on prenatal care, the dos and don'ts, what to expect, etc. But here's the thing, in the 2 weeks since I learned that I was pregnant, I had already surfed the Internet for all the info. and I had already became a member of a pregnancy message board. I already knew my due date (October 13), I was already taking OTC prenatal vitamins, I was already avoiding certain foods and abstaining from you know what.

I of course immediately ask her if I can have my blood tested. Dr. S probably got scared by the crazy look in my eyes because she was willing to give me the blood test. During the "exam" Dr. S tells me that I am definitely pregnant based on the expanding size of my uterus. (Side note: the uterus is one of those body parts that we females really never think about. We spend time on our boobs, our face, our feet, even our toes, but never the uterus. Pregnancy gives you a newfound respect for the mighty uterus.).

Afterwards, Dr. S asks me if I still wanted a blood test. I was like "Well I am worried about that whole chemical pregnancy deal" so I just want to make sure that I am in fact pregnant. Dr. S tells me that the blood test would still detect that I am pregnant even if there was only a chemical pregnancy since the levels of HCG would still be present. (Google "chemical pregnancy" and "HCG" if necessary). I decided at that point to conserve my blood for later. I've seen those massive tubes of blood that expecting mothers are forced to shell out.

I call AT and tell him that we are definitely pregnant. "Woohoo" he shouts on the phone, "I already knew we're having a baby, I was just waiting for you to believe it." Smarta$$.

THE DAY IT ALL BEGAN

February 7, 2010. The turning point in our lives. This was the weekend where the big blizzard of 2010 aka "Snowmageddon" hit the DC area. We were doing our usual weekend nesting routine - catching up on movies and shows of the past week, eating, taking naps, spending time together. I had been "late" for about 3 days but this was no biggie since I was never consistent to begin with.

Mary had sent me my Secret Santa present which was a "Getting Pregnant" kit of sorts and this kit consisted of a how to conceive book, a journal, and 2 pregnancy tests - this present had arrived about a week earlier (yes, there was a delay on the sender's part - hehe). So anyways, long story short, we were getting bored and "for fun" AT suggested that I take the pregnancy test. Sure, there was zero chance in hell that I could be pregnant. Not b/c we were abstaining but we were using protection 99.99999% of the time (hint: the .00001% caught up with us).

So I went into the bathroom, made AT stand outside and did the deed. Lo and behold, the test came out positive. I frantically rubbed my eyes and stared at the dipstick in utter disbelief. And then I shrieked "What the HECK?!" AT is now trying to bust in so he can get a look. He took one look, a big a$$ grin spreads across his face and then he envelopes me in one of the biggest, tightest hug I've ever received from someone. I'm still in a state of shock. And then I start to cry. Not so much from overwhelming joy, but of shock. He starts to get teary eyed. I'm still in shock. This shock lasts for the entire week. I thought the test was somehow faulty, so we took another one. Nope. Still positive, still pregnant. In the next 2 weeks, I took a total of 10 pregnancy tests. All different brands, digital, plus signs, two lines - you name it, I took it. All of them gave me the same message - YOU ARE FREAKING PREGNANT, WOMAN!

The first of many pregnancy tests...

What are the statistics for getting pregnant after one time only? And I remember the day (or night I should say) that it happened. January 20. The only time we decided for some reason not to use anything. For my part, I was thinking that it's hard to get pregnant (I mean you hear about the infamous 12-24hr window), I was not exactly young and come on, it was only ONE time. But yup, in our case this lil' guy or gal decided it was time. And so it all began...

I drank that whole bottle of spumante on the Saturday before I found out!